2. On January 14th I picked up my phone to find a funny text to show my mom and was shocked instead to read that Fr. Bill Baer had passed away unexpectedly. Although I can't imagine he would have known who I was if I had gone to shake his hand after mass, Fr. Baer had had a profound affect on my life. At a time when I was spiritually lost and alone, I walked into his confessional; Fr. Baer looked up at me, smiled, and said, "welcome home."
His funeral, which I was blessed to be able to attend with my family, was an incredible celebration of hope and joy, both of which he radiated during his time on earth.
3. On January 30th my Great Aunt Grace passed away after a short but intense battle with bone cancer. She was diagnosed late last year after going in to the doctor for back and chest pain. They discovered that the cancer had weakened her bones to the point that they were cracking from everyday use, and all they could do was try to ease her pain in her last few weeks.
She was my Grandmother's only sister and best friend and the loss has been hard to bear. Adding to the burden, there was no memorial service or funeral to attend. Although I'm not sure what all went into the decision not to have a service for her, I do know that Grace believed in the power of the Universe rather than God, and if she believed in an afterlife it was probably reincarnation. She was offended by offers of prayers, and so in my last Christmas card I wished her comfort and joy and didn't mention that she had made it to the top of our nightly list of intentions.
4. Less than a week ago my uncle's best friend died, also of cancer. They had been friends, more like brothers, for 40 years. Both passionate and talented musicians, they played in several bands together and jammed with friends every Saturday night for many years. Although I only met him twice at concerts, I grew up hearing Kurt's name, and I know how deeply my uncle is hurting with this loss. My husband and I went to the memorial service last night and I read Kurt's obituary out-loud on the way. Beautifully written, it made us both wish we had had the chance to sit down with a few drinks and enough time to hear a few of the many stories he had to tell.
It was a strange experience going to a memorial for a man we hadn't known. At first it felt like an intrusion, but after a few stories were shared it began to feel more like an honor. After the time for sharing, I was able to spend a little time talking to both of his parents, to hug his mom and listen to a few of her own stories, and to let them know that we're holding them in prayer.
Humans are storytellers. It's our way of obtaining immortality on this side of heaven, and I think there is a fundamental need in those of us who are left behind to keep our deceased loved ones close, even just a little longer, by telling the stories that we shared with them.
5. I sent the lyrics of this song to my uncle. I don't know if they'll give any comfort - I do know they won't fill the void - but I hope they'll speak the hope that I don't know how to say.
6. In a way it's fortunate that this winter (and February in particular) has been so difficult. Lots to offer up! However my toddler doesn't see it that way. Sprout gave me a hug yesterday and said, "Mommy, can I go out into the wonderful world of snow?"
7. We're back on the cold train and haven't been out of the house for days. It's been a long, snotty, tired week cooped up together and patience has been running thin. My mother-in-law graciously came to babysit last minute so we could attend Kurt's memorial. Sprout threw me under the bus when he announced to his Grandma, "Mommy says she's going to throw me in a snowbank!" Thanks, kid. Sunshine and 40's predicted for next week! I'd be ok with March coming in like a lamb.
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