friend: "Wow, you answered your phone! It's been a while! So, how've you been??"So. Blogging again. Maybe it will help motivate me to take the time to write out a bit of what's spinning about internally so it doesn't all end up spewed out in exhausting (but never exhaustive!) run on paragraphs every time I summon up the courage to answer the phone, and I will still have friends.
me: "Well, pretty good, I mean I'm tired because we're night weaning which means that on the nights that Poppy wakes up multiple times I have to stand and rock her because if I sit down she wants to nurse and gets upset and wakes up her brother, but she's slept through the night three times in the last two weeks, and she'd never done that before, so that's hopeful, and the kids have been healthy for a few weeks, although for a while there we didn't really leave the house because of how much snot there was, I mean, how can such little people produce so much mucous? What? Oh, yeah, super gross, so they've been better and Sprout is so excited about snow and being able to play outside again, but my grandpa died, and, what? oh, thanks, yes, well, I'm really not upset, which seems callous, but he was 84 and it was a good death, but his funeral is next week, and the whole family will be in town and that's over a hundred people, what? Yeah, lots of extended family, so that sounds a little overwhelming, and then there's the burial and that's several hours away but we're hoping to go because the kids have never been there, what? Oh, the town where my dad grew up, so that could be fun and we're hosting our Advent party that same weekend because it's a tradition and we didn't want to just not, so we're scaling back and not making chili this year because last year I made two stock pots and all of it was gone by the end, and that seemed like too much for this year so I think I'll go with baked brie instead, I had a really good baked brie at the marriage seminar we did this fall, and that was good, it's really helped our communication, what? No, the seminar, not the brie...
2. I am technically very happy that Advent is here because technically Christmas is my favorite season, with Advent a close second, but I say "technically" because I'm having trouble being excited about much of anything lately. Due to anxiety my current internal season is one of ongoing avoidance and distraction.
However, this is precisely why I not only love Advent, but am also very cognizant of the gifts of seasonal change and liturgical rhythm. When I am struggling to keep my mind focused on the tasks at hand without going into a panic, I can rely on tradition (not to mention Tradition) to orient me in this particular time and place. While we're overall in the very early stages of learning to live liturgically throughout the year, Advent is the one season that we have down. I don't mean that we won't continue to grow and develop our Advent traditions, but for this phase of our life, what we have is a good fit.
3. I love to decorate for both Advent and Christmas, and the decor certainly overlaps, but I have made the seasonal decor distinct in several ways in order to emphasize the difference in seasons, while also highlighting their continuity. All of the visual changes help even the 16 month old sense the bigger changes happening throughout the season, and they facilitate many age-appropriate conversations with the 3 year old.
I start by decorating with materials and colors that reflect the exterior seasonal changes - greenery over the doors and windows, white lights, extra candles in the living areas - and then add liturgical touches - Advent wreath, the children's Advent calendar, Jesse tree.
We have a lovely set of Jesse tree ornaments which I hang on a garland over the archway between the main rooms of our house. This way they are a focal point for us and any visitors, as well as out of reach of wondering little hands. I set up the Little People Nativity set for the kids to play with, keeping Baby Jesus in storage until his birthday.
4. We buy a tree in early Advent from the men's association of a local Catholic church. The trees come pre-blessed which is a great added bonus! I string the tree in white lights and we refer to it as our Advent tree until, you guessed it, Christmas Eve. For the last two years we have also named our tree. Last year two year old Sprout made us extremely proud by deciding all on his own that our tree should be named Boniface - Catholic parenting for the win! And this year we decided to name our extremely stout tree Gilbert.
On Christmas Eve day I take off the white lights and restring the tree in multi-colored lights. If we have time we add the ornaments then too, otherwise we do it the day after Christmas. We don't have a set day to take the tree down, but as long as it's sometime before Candlemas (Feb. 2) I call it good. We have our tree situated in front of a big window overlooking our street and I especially like the tradition of changing the lights because my hope is that it acts as a gentle witness to our neighbors - Christmas Day is the beginning of the season, not the end!
5. I've been collecting Christmas books over the past few years with the goal of having enough for a book a day throughout Advent. This year Sprout's godmother put together a basket of books for him and we are supplementing with those we already own. We spend a lot of time talking about Christmas during Advent and while we try to keep a spirit of anticipation, there's only so much patience in a 3 year old heart and a wide variety of books (from The Little Drummer Boy to The Twelve Days of Christmas to The Nutcracker) spread throughout the season really helps focus, and then refocus, little minds.
6. There are so many wonderful feast days during Advent, and while we don't yet celebrate them all individually, that is the eventual goal! Last year we had special activities for St. Nicholas and Our Lady of Guadalupe/Juan Diego. This year I am hoping to add in cinnamon rolls for St. Lucy.
For St. Nicholas this year we put shoes by the door the night before and found chocolate coins in them in the morning. I added a couple extra gifts this year - Candy Land for the kids, this book for Eric, and this one for me. So many new ideas for additional celebrations of our feast days!
We use the video library on Formed.org for CCC adaptations of St. Nicholas and Juan Diego. I grew up on these videos and while they've lost a lot of their charm for me, Sprout loves them and has been acting out parts and asking lots of thought-provoking questions. I don't care for all of their videos (I'm looking at you, My Secret Friend) but I do also recommend St. Patrick and St. Francis for their respective feast days. (Side story: a few weeks ago Sprout suddenly came out with, "sometimes, when people are dead, other people cheer." "Umm, excuse me? Who told you that?" "St. Francis." It took a few more questions to figure out that he was referring to the scene where Francis and his friends are play-fighting with drumsticks and everyone cheers when the friend pretends he's wounded. Not quite the take away I was anticipating!)
For the most part our celebrations of feast days involve special dinners. This doesn't always mean making anything fancy, or even a dessert, but I do try to make it special with a candle and/or holy card centerpiece. For Our Lady of Guadalupe we make Mexican brownies and I add a little extra spice to the grownup side.
7. Our biggest celebration during Advent is on Gaudete Sunday. Each year we have an Advent Open House and invite more people than should technically fit into our little home - and each year we have so much fun and the house seems to grow just a little bit to accommodate the crowd.
I make a point of not making Christmas-y food, but instead focus on a sort of autumn-harvest theme. The last three years I've made chili with my own preserved tomatoes, and last year I made pumpkin cake with one of the two pumpkins I managed to grow. This year we're scaling back (see #1) and several friends have offered to help with food. It's always a lot of work, but so very worth it, and definitely our favorite Advent tradition so far!
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