The longer I parent (not long so far) the more I realize that I am in need of at least as much correction as my terribly terrific two year old. Little did I know before having children the amount of SELF-discipline it would take to set an example worth following.
To respond rather than react.
To stay calm in the face of turbulent emotions and tiny flying fists.
To let go of irritation and angst the moment those little arms reach out for a hug of reconciliation.
To maintain (or gain) an attitude of loving calm on the days when everyone is running on a few fractured hours of sleep.
To say "I'm sorry" when I'm the one who shattered the fragile peace.
To be willing and able to adapt as new stages and challenges present themselves.
My growing pains are keeping pace with the kids' - and so much depends on my willingness to learn and grow alongside them!
I've heard many times: if you wait until you're ready to have kids, you never will. And I am coming to understand the truth of those words more deeply as time goes by. If I had known the cost ahead of time - without also knowing the soft, snuggly, "yuv you too" rewards - how quick would I have been to say yes to this crazy, wonderful journey we're now on?
And the craziest part is that I never could have been ready - I need these tiny human flashlights to shine into the depths of my soul and show me the cracks and corners that I didn't even know existed, let alone how badly they were in need of scrubbing.
There's a grace in the not-knowing. In the trusting acceptance of new life. In saying yes, and then finding out that a sword will pierce your heart.
Thank God for grace, because those tiny fists are deceptively strong.
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